Year 4 Creative Writing

Creative Writing:

How to build an interesting story

In preparation for our story writing next week Year 4 have looked at how to build an interesting story using creative writing. As we know the first paragraph sets the scene and is very important. The children were shown an amazing picture of a desert scene and asked to write a descriptive passage showing ambitious vocabulary. Didn’t they do well!

On Wednesday, just as they get to the main part of the story, Year 4 will be visited by Dr Paul Harrison, an Egyptologist. I’m sure he will give them plenty of new ides to include in their story.

Desert Picture

Read some of their stories below:

Dust storms started as I approached the arid, vast, waterless desert. Massive cliffs came and walked by. The blistering torrent blistered the sensitive souls of my burnt feet. “Another  150 miles! “I said as I came to a well. Unfortunately it wasn’t a well but a mirage. The sandiest mountains reached the top of the vast blue sky. I was hoping an oasis would come soon as my feet were burning hot. “Water, water trembled as I reached it.

Benjamin Hirschfield 

I was left in the middle of a sandy desert with the sun beating down on me. I had to find water or a snake that I could eat. I was concentrating on ignoring those crazy mirages in my mind. The waterless desert was about to claim another victim. The taste of bitter sand  went down my throat. A sudden gust of wind picked up, forcing sand to blow into my eyes. I couldn’t walk as my feet were pretty much on fire. The deafening sound of sand squeezed it’s way through my eardrums. I sat there on my knees praying for help.

Gabriel Gold

The burning hot, small sand was so hot I felt like I was being cooked in a fire. I could taste some of the sand coming in my mouth and wriggling down my body into my stomach. Although it was disgusting it was better than nothing because there was nothing to eat. I really couldn’t see anything because it was so barren. My body was bone-dry. I could see the beautiful horizon. The sun almost setting my hair on fire.
 Jo Jo Nejad 

As I slowly walked across the ocra coloured sand blisters were burning on my baked feet. My throat was bone-dry and all I could see were sand dunes glistening and towering over me. Suddenly a well came into view but as I stepped closer I realized it was just a mirage. All hope was now lost. No food or water for me. The searching desert was drought, endless and dust devil WHOOSH! A torrent sandstorm just blew into my eyes and blinded me. “Help!” I yelled but all I could hear was my voice echoing and gradually fading away. This waterless desert was going to kill another victim.

 Jacob Greenfield 

I walked across the dry burning hot sand. I felt ill and felt as if I was going to faint. The sandy sand scattered and whooshed in the air all over the place. I can smell the air and the sand whilst the breeze flows past me. The enormous tremendous humungous desert around me looks as if it is on fire. The tall vast mountain stands proud in the middle of nowhere looking as if it is in the King Mountain. I’m walking slowly staring in the distance. The sun is blazing upon my head. I’m standing in the empty scary glowing desert and feel this is the end. The desert is as big as Australia. The mountain is as tall as street lamps.

Carly Heller 

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